Bloodstained Dreams
by The Amazing Wonder Ninja
Summary: the secret behind L's insomnia- nightterrors. horrible nighterrors, where he relives the horrors of his best friend's letter A's suicide. when the time comes, can raito help him leave his past in the past? READ AND REVIEW! tell me what you think!
1. All That I'm Living For

Bloodstained Dreams

~~~~~~~E~~~~~~~

_I believe that dreams are sacred, _

_Take our darkest fears and play them._

_Like a lullaby_

_Like a reason why_

_I can fell the night beginning_

_Separate me from the living_

_~evanescence_

"C'mon, ryuzaki. You really should get some sleep. How many days have we been like this? Four? Five? You haven't slept once!" Light Yagami held up the arm which was handcuffed.

"Honestly Light, I'd prefer not to."

"Well, at least turn that thing off, I cant sleep through all that clacking."

L looked pointedly over the top of his laptop.

"No."

The brunette rolled onto his side, facing away from L, buried his head under a pillow, and proceeded to try to get some sleep. L shifted his weight onto one foot, and stretched his leg out straight. And, accidentally, kicked the sleeping form of his 'roommate', who sat up and glared daggers at the detective. L simply shrugged.

"Sorry Light-kun." His expression could not have been less sorry. Light fumed for a few moments.

"Have you saved your progress, ryuzaki?"

"Indeed, Light-kun."

Light pulled the plug on the laptop, slammed the screen down, and tossed it onto an armchair some six feet away. L sighed, too comfortable to move from the bed to retrieve it.

"I demand that you get some sleep." Light huffed angrily.

"You're quite petulant."

Light turned out the lamp, which had been the only source of illumination in the room. L sighed dramatically once more, and tucked his foot back underneath him. Eventually, boredom kicked in, and the young detective surrendered himself to the realm of dreams, not even noticing when he fell backwards onto the pillows. He was already gone.

The darkness of sleep pulsed through his brain, like a rapturous lullaby. His eyes moved rapidly, and images flashed in his mind. A broken mirror. Blood, pooled on a hard grey tile floor. His first and only friend, A.

A lying dead on the floor, in a pool of his own blood, knife still in hand.

Blood. So much blood.

He mewls in his sleep, his long fingers twitching. They grope in the dark, catching hold of Light's shirt. His eyes open blindly, flitting around the room, yet seeing nothing. He inhales, his breath catching in his throat as he screams.

Blood. Everywhere.

His terror consumes him. It's all dark, so very dark. There is nothing but the dark and the blood and the still, white, lifeless form in front of him. Screams wrack his body, and his throat is torn in two by pain.

"Ryuzaki!" Light shakes him, gripping the young detective's wrists. Long scratches cover both of their arms, and L thrashes wildly against his captivity, screaming all the while. His eyes are glazed, and fix momentarily on Light before flickering around the room. He can't see anything, for his mind is still asleep.

"Wake up, damnit!" Light shakes him again, and his head lolls back. His screams become choked, rough and gasping. His skin is cold, and damp with sweat. The hairs on the back of Light's neck rise involuntarily. _He can't even hear me. And god, his screams…they're almost like a child being tortured…_ L's back arches, and he screams once more, the cry trailing off into a throaty hack. Blood spatters the sheets, and L gasps for breath, nearly choking on his own blood. He's screamed his throat raw. _Shit! What do I do!_

"Ryuzaki! Wake up!" he simply coughs, his breathing rattling. He mewls again, unable to do anything but writhe and twitch. _Water, I should get water. Cold water will wake him. _Light fervently shifts the young detective onto his lap, one hand supporting his legs, the other, his neck. He's light weight, but hard to carry, and shaking incessantly. Light sets him in the bathtub, not really bothering to be gentle, but careful not to damage him. Uncertainly, he turns the knob to cold, and turns on the shower head. Icy water pours down onto the twitching form. His eyes roll back into his head, and his lids slide shut once more. Finally, after a painfully long moment, L's eyes flicker open, and gaze frantically around the room, coming to rest on Light. His eyes look hollow and haunted. _I wonder what he was seeing._

"Light-kun…" his voice is gravelly, a harsh change from it's usual melodic tone. He stands shakily, brushing back his sleeves to have a clearer view of his self-inflicted wounds.

"Please don't make me sleep again."

"Yeah." Light turned away as L re-dressed, cooperating as L briefly unlocked the handcuffs to slip a dry shirt on. The detective looks guilty as he re-boots his laptop, and phones Watari for a cup of soothing tea.

"Ryuzaki."

"Yes, Light-kun?"

"Is that why you'd 'prefer not to sleep'? Your night-terrors, I mean."

"I find them rather incapacitating, and I think anyone would rather not have to deal with such an occurrence."

"I guess that's understandable. I'll leave you alone. But really Ryuzaki, you could have just told me."

"I believe the outcome would have remained the same. Some people are more responsive when presented with irrefutable evidence, wouldn't you agree, Light-kun?"

"I suppose so, Ryuzaki."

"…"

"Light-kun?"

"Hm?"

"Would you like some cake?"

_so? What does everyone think? I'm debating on making this a chapter fic, instead of just a oneshot. Please, read and review! Should I add more chapters? Remember, this takes place after light gives up his memories of the death note, so he's all innocent…sortof. It could be a Lxlight? _


	2. Whispers

Bloodstained Dreams

~~~~~~~~E~~~~~~~~

_Catch me as I fall_

_Say you're here and it's all over now_

_Speaking to the atmosphere_

_No one's here and I fall into myself_

_This truth drives me into madness_

_I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away…_

_~Evanescence _

The days pass. Five days chained together become nine, and slowly, Light can sense L's resolve weakening. Some nights, while Light sleeps, he stares blankly, his eyes vacant and haunted, and just as they slip shut, he jolts awake again, momentarily overcome with fright.

"Ryuzaki." Light bites his lip, looking concernedly at his friend, after one such occurrence. The detective looks, exhausted, at Light, letting out a long sigh.

"Yes, Light-kun?" his voice is slow with lack of rest, and even his hair looks limp and tired.

"What are they about? Your night terrors, I mean."

L closes his eyes, not wanting to meet Light's gaze, then snaps them open again, afraid of what lies on the other side. "My friend. His name was A."

"Oh?"

"He died. He killed himself."

"I'm sorry-."

"Don't be." L snaps, interrupting, Light's apology, glaring bitterly into the dark. "It was my fault, not yours."

"Ryuzaki, you shouldn't blame yourself. If he killed himself, then there's really nothing you could have done to prevent it."

"You don't get it! It was my fault! He couldn't live up to the pressure of trying to be L! He was my friend, and I didn't even see he was slipping!"

A long, impenetrable silence stretches between the two, and all of a sudden, L drops his head into his hands.

"I can still hear them…they're always there…"

"Ryuzaki, what're you talking about? You're not making sense anymore."

"The bells. There's always bells. The bells that tolled at his funeral." He pulls his head farther down into his arms, his hands clapped over his ears. "Make them stop, make them stop, please, make them…" his breathing escalates, his eyes taking on the same, glazed look as four night's ago. He whimpers, and writhes once, falling from the bed and groping on the floor.

"Nothing…nothing's…no one's here!" the sentence begins as a feeble mew, and ends in a keening, blood chilling wail. His eyes roll madly. "No…no one…"

"Ryuzaki!" Light pins the struggling man to the floor by his wrists, to keep him from hurting himself again. "Ryuzaki, I'm here! There's someone here! You're not alone!"

And with that, L's eyes snap to focus.

"Light-kun!"

"You're not alone, Ryuzaki."

"Th-thank you, Light-kun." He sits up, running a hand through his raven black hair, looking more exhausted than ever.

"Anytime."

…

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_Yes, I know. This chapter was…painfully short. Plz don't flame me. I tried, I really tried to make it longer, but I got writer's block and…well…here we are. All I really wanted to do with this chapter was explain some about The Bells (Like, why was he hearing bells right before he [sniffle] died??? Because of this!) And a bit more of L's history. And I accented some on one of his well-hidden fears. [Anyone else sensing possible fluff here???] ^_^ I promise I'll write more soon! Thank you all for the lovely reviews-[ And thanks, Kaye!]_


	3. Overtaken

Bloodstained Dreams

~~~~~~~E~~~~~~~

_you don't remember me, but I remember you_

_I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you _

_But who can decide what they dream?_

_And dream I do…_

_~Evanescence_

"Light-kun."

"Huh?"

"You're staring at me again. Are you _sure_ you don't want some cake? I would be more than happy to give it to you."

"Uh, no Ryuzaki, that's fine. I was just thinking."

"Oh? What of?"

"Shouldn't you be working on the case?"

L glanced at the computer glaring garishly at them. It was unusually quiet, as L had given the task force a few days off, and without Matsuda there, the only noises besides there voices were those of the computer and the rain outside. It was rather unnerving, and L felt another coffee craving coming. He attempted to stifle a yawn, covering it with a sigh, as usual.

"Would you like to come with me and get a cup of coffee?" he asked Light, who laughed.

"You say it as if I have a choice in the matter." He jingled the handcuffs. L smiled weakly in return.

"Let's go out this time. Perhaps to the shop we visited before, where I interrogated you about kira?"

"Whatever you say." Light stood and stretched, while L remained perpetually slouched. L phoned Watari, who agreed to drive them.

"I have a car, you know."

"Yes, but seeing as there is a relatively high probability that you are kira, and that one of the things kira would like is for me to be dead, I am sure you can understand why I am rather hesitant to put my life in your hands. I assure you, Watari is an excellent chauffer."

"You really aren't giving up, are you."

"No."

"…"

'L. I have arrived.'

Watari's voice floated through a speaker, announcing his arrival, so the two headed down to the lobby, where a few people gawked awkwardly at the two men, handcuffed together. L simply ignored them, and Light waved to a small child, who's mother yanked closer, muttering something about 'pedophilic perverts'. Watari tipped his hat to the two, and L clambered into the back of the Limo, somehow managing to balance in a moving car.

……

"So Ryuzaki," Light said through a sip of coffee, "Do you ever remember anything about your night terrors, or is it all just a blank?"

"This is what you were thinking about earlier." It was not a question.

"Well, yes. I was just curious. The other night you said some things and I was wondering if you remembered any of it."

L pondered for a moment, adding a dozen more sugar cubes to his coffee and stirring it until they dissolved before continuing.

"It's less of specific images or phrases that I remember. Just this feeling…like there is nothing but you for all eternity. No one's there. No one cares enough to save you…I sometimes wonder…if that's how A felt. Before he died. If I had just cared a little more for him and a little less for my studies, maybe he would have survived." He stared vacantly into his coffee, before suddenly snapping to focus and staring piercingly into Light's eyes with an unblinking gaze. He suddenly seemed less thoughtful, and more paranoid, his crouch beginning to look like he was about to spring like a cat.

"Why do you keep asking about this? Are you trying to make me weak, _kira?_ Trying to learn my weaknesses?"

"Ryuzaki! I am _not _Kira!"

L sipped, as if to say 'yeah, right.'

"You were talking the other night. You said that you were all alone in the nothingness." Light stared back into L's eyes, meeting the stare with burning intensity. L had yet to blink. "You said you heard the bells that tolled at A's funeral. You only woke up when I told you that you weren't alone. That I was there."

L looked away, clenching his jaw.

"What does it matter to _you _anyway?"

"It matters to me, Ryuzaki. It matters because I care."

L scoffed, and took another sip.

"You said we were friends…?" Light asked the phrase as a question, waiting for L to agree.

"So I did…was it not an act?"

"_What?! _Ryuzaki, you thought I was _acting?!_ This lack of sleep is making you have poor judgment. I meant it."

"Light-kun, I said you were my first ever friend. A was my first ever friend. Not you."

Light didn't know what to say to that, so he finished off his coffee and started on a small peanut butter flavored cookie, the free gift with coffee purchase. L seemed halfway smug, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. Did he think he had hit a sore spot? If they weren't friends as he had thought, then why would L tell him about his night terrors, his friend A, his fears? He decided to skip the speculation, and ask.

"So why do you behave as if we're friends, if you're only acting."

"…Is it not part of the act?" The way L kept answering questions with questions really was getting on Light's nerves.

"No, Ryuzaki, I don't think it is. I think we have something, but you're too afraid to admit it. Because of A. Because of Kira. You don't want to be my friend, because you got your last friend killed, and if I'm kira, you'll have to kill me too. Well get this, Ryuzaki. I. Am not. Kira. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

L stood up with a clatter, his chair nearly falling over. His teeth were clenched, and he looked like he wanted to kick something.

"I will be leaving now. Come or stay as you like." his voice was icy, his gaze like stone. He walked off as stiffly as one can while remaining slouched. The handcuffs caught, almost yanking Light from his chair. He stood up hastily.

" 'Come or stay as you like' my ass…" he muttered, collecting his coat and venturing outside into the rain a few paces behind the young detective. Watari opened the door for L, who climbed inside, dragging Light with him. A stiff silence accompanied them to the headquarters. L glared out the darkened window, and Light crossed and uncrossed his legs uncomfortably. If Watari noticed their strange behavior, he said nothing to indicate it, and he bid them adieu with a tip of his hat.

"If you need anything, do not hesitate to call…" L nodded his acknowledgement, and the silence was even more deafening once the old man was gone. The young detective perched on his chair, fully immersed in his work, his eyes narrowed at the computer screen. Light found the whooshing of the rain around the building very distracting, and settled for staring blankly at the sack of papers L had handed him. Maybe he had hit too close with his accusations. He probably shouldn't have brought up A, but it had to be true or L wouldn't be reacting like this. So all he had to do was wait. L would come around eventually, right?

L seethed. How _dare_ he bring up A, use A's death for his cause! He wasn't afraid! He simply refused to befriend a killer!

Right?

Or was he afraid? He had gotten A killed! Light reminded him so much of A. Their hair was the same color, cut in relatively the same style. Their eyes were much the same too, Light's being only a shade redder than A's were. He and A were always on the same wavelength, usually thinking the same things almost in unison- much like he and Light were.

But A would never use his smarts to kill people, to manipulate life. If Light was as similar to A as he thought, was it possible that Light wasn't kira…?

No! Light was manipulating him! Somehow, he knew this, he was using it to his advantage, to clear his name, to find L's weaknesses. He wouldn't stand for this! He would not be manipulated like a pawn in Kira's game! He glared at the boy next to him, and his stomach jolted when his gaze met Light's.

Light's eyes widened upon meeting L's. Adrenaline pulsed involuntarily into his bloodstream. L looked…wild. Like he might suddenly spring and claw Light apart. The brunette shook his head. L wasn't a wild animal, he was a person. A very angry person. Light still managed to be afraid, he had seen and felt L in action before, and it hurt. A kick like that to someone's jaw could snap their neck! The sudden feeling of being trapped, cornered, flooded Light's mind, momentarily blinding him. He never intended to make L this angry! He wouldn't be able to get away if L decided to attack him, and there was no one else here to break up the fight!

L's thoughts were briefly spun into turmoil. Light was scared…scared of him! It showed plainly on his face, and he looked ready to fight. He watched as Light shook his head to rid himself of some thought.

A used to do that.

How many times did A do that while deciding to take his life? Did he shake his head at the thought that L would walk in, right as the knife cut through A's flesh? That L would watch him die, blood soaking through his clothes and into his dreams?

L closed his eyes, seeing only red, the red of anger, the red of blood. Abruptly, he was exhausted. He couldn't take this anymore, none of it. How long had it been since he slept, really slept? He couldn't remember. If not having a night terror, he still couldn't sleep well. Just when he was really asleep- he'd wake up. Sometimes screaming, sometimes crying, sometimes panting as if he'd been running, his heart pounding.

Before he knew it, his thoughts faded into colors, into blackness, and he slipped from his chair, nearly cracking his skull on the tile floor before Light caught him.

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_I hope everyone likes this chapter! I made sure it was longer than the other two chapters, to make up for how short they are. This is actually the longest chapter I've ever written. ^_^ I could have continued from here into chapter four, but I decided not to. Better to have something to go on to start the next one with, right? And I correct what I said before, this would be a LightxL, not LxLight. I've gotten into the habit of putting my favorite character first, and the other second, so that's why I put Llight before. I think it's mostly going to be fluff (I really suck at smut) but then I might try it again, who knows??? _


	4. Silent Night

Bloodstained Dreams

~~~~~E~~~~~

_swallowed up in the sound of my screaming_

_cannot cease for the fear of silent nights_

_oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming_

_for the goodness of imaginary light…_

_~Evanescence_

……………………………………………………………………………

L's eyelids fluttered, and his long fingers which dangled off the side of the couch twitched. He gasped loudly, his eyes flying open, and sat bolt upright, his heart pounding. He was clammy with sweat. He looked around, taking note that he was in the suite he and Light shared, on the couch they had toppled in their previous fight.

"You okay, Ryuzaki?" Light asked from an arm chair a few feet away. L wiped his face with his sleeve. It was rather nice that Light had moved him from the floor and onto the couch, but that didn't matter much at the moment.

"You…stop…manipulating me!" he yelled between pants, trying to catch his breath while yelling, and not succeeding.

"Ryuzaki, what…?"

"You cant just go and pretend you're A! I wont let you use him like that! I wont let you use _me _like that! You just keep playing on this, don't you?"

"Ryuzaki! Slow down! You're not making any sense."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, so don't even pretend-!" L was cut off by a slap across his cheek, and he glared up at Light, contemplating how to enact the 'eye for an eye' routine.

"No I don't, Ryuzaki!"

"Stop being a martyr, Light-kun. You think I need your help? I've survived for years without you, and I can do it again."

It was a lie, and L knew it. He had become too dependant in just two night terrors. He knew he needed Light now, but he also knew he would never admit it. He didn't want to admit it to himself. Light recoiled as if struck, and L smirked to himself. _An eye for an eye, my…friend._

It was A who had introduced him to the eye for an eye concept.

Light sensed the lull in L's anger, and took advantage.

"Well, um, at least you slept some."

L was quiet for a moment, before deciding to temporarily let his argument drop. Light was being kind, and he was bitching. Maybe Light really didn't mean to manipulate him. How could he have known that he was like A without being told anyway? But then, how could he kill people with just their name and faces?

"Yes. It happens occasionally." Light seemed surprised by L's lack of anger.

"Uh…I brought you cake." Light handed the cake to Ryuzaki with a hopeful smile, which L returned. He wasn't sure which was the lie- was he friends with the boy, or was he not? It was beginning to look like the latter was the false one. He sighed, and took a bite of cake.

"While you were out, Matsuda-san called. He said he would be returning to work later today."

L's eyes seemed to laugh. "I'm looking forward to it." He commented dryly, the sarcasm obvious.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Light yawned hugely, stretching his arms above his head. After Matsuda had arrived, the day had flown by. He and L were still at an awkward state of friendship, and Light was careful not to bring up A or the night terrors. He was briefly unchained, yet still in the same room with L as he brushed his teeth. Light was relieved that L had at least semi-normal hygiene, but he supposed with as many sweets as he ate, teeth brushing was required. He rubbed the wrist which had been handcuffed, not liking the ring shaped imprint it had left where his arm had rested on it. He changed into his pajamas, and L was waiting for him, cuffs in hand. Light sighed, and held his arm out. There was a click, and the cold metal encircled his wrist once more.

As Light settled in under the covers, L sat next to him on the bed, on leg stretched out luxuriously, the other tucked up to his chest with his chin resting on his knee. He reached for his laptop, preparing for another sleepless night, when he stopped, contemplating.

"Light-kun?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

"I believe I'm going to sleep tonight."

…

L stared at the ceiling, not entirely sure how to ready himself for sleep. what if he had another night terror? Or just another dream? He chewed on his thumbnail nervously.

"It's okay Ryuzaki. I can wake you up if you have a night terror."

L looked uncertainly at his…friend.

Friend.

It was so odd to think of light as a friend.

"Yes, Light-kun." Light turned onto his side and closed his eyes, letting his breathing slow into the deep rhythmic breathing of sleep. L let his eyes slip shut, listening to Light's breath, trying to emulate it. His eyelids began to droop, and after a few minutes, they finally slid shut as he surrendered his mind to the darkness.

…

Light felt a gentle tug on the covers, and grumbled in his sleep, pulling back, piling more covers on top of himself before sighing contentedly. He was disturbed a few moments later by another tug, more abrupt this time. He made a low growling noise, pulling back so hard on the covers that they slipped from his sleepy grip, and landed with a muffled flump on the floor. At this he shivered, and awoke.

The first thing he noticed was a small mewling coming from L, not as loud as that of one of his night terrors, just whispers and brief whines. Was L talking in his sleep? He was moving slightly, which explained the tugging. Light dragged the covers back on top of them then waited in silence, listening to what L was saying, and studying the older man's features as well as one can do in the dark. Light's heart jumped when he realized that there were tears streaming in tiny silver rivulets down L's face, soaking into the sheets below.

L was crying.

_The L, _the greatest detective in the world, was crying.

"A…Adriannn…" he whined, his voice lowering again to a whisper.

"I…I don't want…to be alone…"

Light felt nothing but a wave of sadness for L, the man who, in that moment was nothing more than a frightened teenager, most likely re-witnessing the death of his first friend. He wiped one of the tears from L's cheek. He didn't think, he was much too tired for that. He just slipped an arm around L's waist, pressing close to him until the whispers stopped, and the tears dried. This was but a nightmare, and nightmares pass.

And the next thing Light knew, it was morning.

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_okay, everyone is going to have to tell me what they think! Was it too sappy? Should I put a shounen-ai warning in the summary? Please, don't flame me if you don't like yaoi, you don't have to read if you don't want to. I'm bad with flames._


	5. Intermission: Burn out, not fade away

Bloodstained Dreams

…

Intermission: burn out, not fade away.

…

_The tile was cold against L's feet. His breath was fast and shallow, as he had just ran up a flight of stairs. He skidded to a stop out side of one of the several wooden doors lining the hallway. _

"_A! You have to come see this!" _

_He thrusts open the door, running inside. His smile falters as he notices the knife in his friend's hands just before it sinks into the boy's stomach, flashing in the sun. A looks over towards the door as he begins to sway on his feet. He coughs, and blood trickles from the corner of his mouth. _

"_A!" _

_A staggers, and smiles dementedly at his friend, rigid with horror. _

"_Should've known you'd show up."_

_With that, he falls backwards, and L lunges to catch him before he hits the floor. His eyes close, and the pool of blood on the floor is much too large. _

"_A! Don't you leave me, Adrian!" It'll kill me if you die, L thinks. A responds as if he had heard the thought aloud; maybe he had. Who knew, in the turmoil._

"_An eye for an eye, my friend." His breath shudders in, an leaves him with a rattle, never to return. Tears spring to L's eyes, he blinks once to clear them, but when he looks back down, A is gone. The body on the floor is bound, handcuffed. _

_The body of Light Yagami._

…

A/N: I mainly did this because A) I had writer's block, and B) SOME people were being perverts! This is what L's dream was, and it ends suddenly because that is where Light wrapped his arm around L, so the dream puttered off. L WAS NOT HAVING A WET DREAM. Pervs, you know who you are…


	6. World Divides

Bloodstained Dreams

…

_I cant save your life, _

_Though nothing I bleed for is more tormenting_

_I'm losing my mind,_

_And you just stand there and stare as my world divides…_

_~Evanescence_

…

The next week and a half passed slowly and without incident. L's night terrors seemed to be stifled when Light was there, and once they both had figured this out, everything worked smoothly. It was awkward at first- L had woken up to Light's body curled snugly around him. He could even feel the soft rustle of Light's breath in his hair, but he soon found that he didn't care. So what if they were both guys? Light really cared, it seemed, enough to sacrifice his masculinity to make sure he was all right. It did make him feel slightly guilty, though. He sure as hell wouldn't have done the same for Light.

L, who had felt well rested that morning, was now exhausted. His body was gradually adjusting to actually sleeping more than once a week, but today had been a rather tiring day. It seemed for the moment that kira was caught- the Yotsuba investigation had paid off. As L readied himself for sleep, this time it was Light who paced restlessly, fiddling with his watch.

"Light-kun? Is everything all right? You seem rather paranoid." L looked him, reading his every movement, in a very familiar way. He knew he shouldn't still suspect Light, as they had just confirmed that kira was dead, but…there was something about Light's eyes…

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine, the thing with that shinigami today…I'm just a little shaken that's all…"

"You should try a nice piece of cake. I've found that over the past few days, it has helped me sleep." he lied, still gauging Light's expression. It seemed plausible that Light simply was shaken- he had screamed upon seeing the beast- but L still had the nagging feeling that something just…wasn't right about his friend.

"Er, no thanks." Light waved the cake away. "I'm going to go back over the rules for that notebook, before I go to bed. See if there's anything we missed, just to make sure he was really kira. Can you sleep with the lamp on?"

L knew he shouldn't leave Light alone with a killer notebook. He was a kira suspect! How irresponsible would he have to be to allow that? He yawned. _You just caught kira, today. Light obviously isn't kira. _He thought this over for a moment. _And if I agree, I get to sleep._

"Yes, Light-kun. Make sure you get some sleep, I can't have an agent too tired to work."

Light scoffed. "This coming from you is criminal."

L simply smiled, and crawled under the covers. He laid on his side, facing away from Light, who flipped open the notebook, and chewed his nail. _Oh great, I'm turning into ryuzaki._ He hastily removed his nail from his mouth, and bit his lip nervously. He stared at the first line of the rules.

_The human whose name is written into this note shall die._

He had killed people with this thing! Him, Light Yagami, son of the police chief! He now remembered his plan, and how it had worked perfectly. His ingenuity scared him, so he concentrated on the line. How many _had_ he killed? Hundreds, _thousands _of lives snuffed out due to him! He had planned to kill Ryuzaki! He glanced over at his sleeping friend, consumed with guilt. L wasn't just a letter, an enemy. He was a person, with a past, interests, fears. Fears so strong only the care of a friend could keep him sane.

A person with a future.

He couldn't do it. The more he thought, the more revolted he became at himself. He just couldn't kill Ryuzaki, not now, not after all they had been through together in the past few weeks. He could still remember the smell of L's hair, the way it had brushed his face as he comforted the detective in his sleep. How warm he had been against Light's body. The thought of L cold, lifeless…Light snapped the notebook shut. He refused to kill his best friend.

It was still, quiet. The wind whistled lowly around the building, and Light gazed out the floor to ceiling windows of the suite, looking down on the city. The lamp flickered briefly as a generator kicked on a few floors below them, making a dull buzzing sound before fading into silence once more. The quiet began to seep it's way into Light's fuzzy brain, and he almost let his eyes slip shut, when…

There was a sharp, abrupt tug on the chain. It jerked Light's hand from under his chin, and his face almost hit the desk before he realized what had happened, and caught himself. He looked over at the bed, startled. L was sitting bolt upright, his eyes wide, terrified. His mouth was slightly open in shock, and his expression twisted into one of sheer horror. His eyes briefly filled with tears, before they spilled over. His chest rose and fell fervently, as he hyperventilated, his breath shuddering a few times. He looked frantically around, not seeing the room, but whatever horror lay inside his head.

And then he screamed. It was a long, shrieking, keening wail, one of pure loss, pain and confusion.

"No…wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!" he moaned…talking to himself? Light stood up with a clatter, his swivel chair crashing to the floor. His mind reeled. What does he do? He's woken him up before, but _how?_ He…couldn't remember! He stared in sudden paralysis at L, who slid himself off the bed, staring at where he had been sitting in an expression of pain, before scrambling across the room, where he slammed into the wall, clawing at the paper as if for protection, and still staring at the bed. Light finally regained mobility, and took a hesitant step towards L, gently taking hold of the man's wrist.

"It's okay, Ryuza-"

"No!" his voice shot up an octave in panic, and he jerked his wrist away, and fled to the opposite side of the room- running straight for the window.

"Ryuzaki, No!" Light grabbed the chain in his hands and yanked, jerking L backwards the second before he would have crashed through the window. Top floor of a skyscraper, and they both would have gone down. L stumbled backwards, the force of the tug sending him reeling back. His foot caught the leg of a coffee table, and finally, he fell.

There was a crack, a sickening sound that made Light's blood run cold. The world flew by in slow motion as he watched the wheel of the upturned swivel chair spin, and his heart nearly stopped when he saw the dark stain on the sharp metal of the chair, and the even darker stain spreading outward on the beige carpet beneath L's head.

"Oh _shit!"_

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	7. Awakening

Bloodstained Dreams

…

_If you want to live, let live, _

_If you want to go, let go,_

_I'm not afraid to sleep,_

_Sleep forever._

_~Evanescence_

…

Light exhaled and ran a hand through his hair, which was damp with sweat. He leaned against the nearest wall, and slid down it, coming to rest on the cold tile of the hospital floor. The chain clinked gently on the ground. He went seemingly unnoticed as the hospital staff rushed around him. He felt as if everything was a blur, time only standing still in his own bubble, connected to L, like no matter how fast they hurried, it would be his fault when L died. He put his head in his hands, listening to the quickened pulse made audible through the heart monitor which L was hooked up to. Why did no one believe him this was an accident?! Even his own father, who had looked at him with sympathetic disappointment, and told him with a pat on the back: "It's okay Light. You don't have to lie anymore. It was only a matter of time before you two hurt each other." The only lucky thing was that it was L who knew the truth, or his percentage as kira would have gone up ten percent. He shook his head. His thoughts weren't making sense anymore. His father wasn't there, and he was grateful. The only reason he was allowed back into the ER was because no one knew where the keys to the cuffs were. Gradually, he could feel his consciousness fading. Looking at his watch, he saw that it was almost three thirty in the morning. He felt guilty for almost falling asleep, but eventually, the days stress won out over his thoughts, and his head came to rest on his knees in slumber.

…

The first thing that L noticed was that it was cold. The air here- wherever here was- was much colder than that of the headquarters. He breathed in gently, and he was started by the smell of chemicals. His eyes flew open.

And they flew shut again with just as much speed.

Ow. Who knew it was so _bright_. His head throbbed dully, somewhere toward the back of his skull. He opened his eyes again, this time anticipating the horrid fluorescent lights. He took in his surroundings, before looking again and realizing that the lump of clothes on the floor was actually the sleeping form of Light Yagami.

"Yagami-kun!" he exclaimed in surprise, his head throbbing again. He winced.

"Ryuga! You're awake!" Light sat up hastily, looking guilty.

"What happened? Why am I being hospitalized?"

"You don't remember anything?"

L thought for a moment, recalling the vivid memory of his night terror, and shuddered.

"I was having another terror…a particularly bad one…but then it all just went black. Why does my head hurt?"

"It was my fault. You hadn't ever actually sleep walked before, but then you did and I just froze. You almost ran through the window, but I jerked you backwards, and you landed on the office chair. If I hadn't tipped it over when you started screaming, none of this would have happened."

L looked out the small window connecting to the hallway. Luckily, it was a straight view into the waiting room from where L sat.

"Your father looks less than relaxed." He remarked.

"He's convinced we got into another fight. Not to mention you lost a lot of blood. They had to give you some blood."

L looked down at his arm, where a bandage was taped against the inside of his elbow. "Disturbing…" he muttered to no one in particular, slightly revolted by he thought of some unknown's blood running through his veins.

"Light-kun, please inform the nurse that I am awake, and request that Yagami-san be permitted entrance to see me."

Light nodded, and stepped out of the door, motioning over a nurse. After talking for a few moments, she followed Light back into the room and began checking all of L's bandages and monitors.

"How are we feeling today, Ryuga-san?"

"A bit bandaged, but otherwise, fine."

"That must have been quite the tennis match!" she laughed, flipping through a clipboard. L looked frantically at Light. _Tennis?_ Light nodded shortly. Tennis was the cover story of how the injury had been sustained.

"Oh! Yes it really was. I should have known better than to play tennis in the dark!"

"Well, I'm sure you won't do that again!" she bustled off to fetch Mr. Yagami.

"…Ryuzaki?" Light asked, once she was out of earshot.

"Yes, Light-kun?"

"If you don't mind me asking, what was so different about last night's terror? Why did you react so extremely?"

L sighed, staring vaguely off into space. "…A killed himself, right in front of me. I caught him as he fell, but then, as he died, I realized it wasn't A anymore…it was you, Light-kun. I had gotten both of my friends killed. When I looked down, I was holding the notebook…you know the one…and in my handwriting, I saw your names written."

Light had nothing to say, so he ran his hand through his hair again, and picked at a loose string on his jacket. Mr. Yagami arrived in time for the silence to not be too awkward.

"Ryuga, I should apologize on my son's behalf-"

"I assure you, my injury was purely an accident."

Mr. Yagami stopped talking, and looked around shiftily, ashamed that he had been so accusing. "Uh…I'll be back. Restroom." He muttered, and swiftly exited the room. Light seemed determined to stay silent, so L pondered the meanings of the night's events. His conclusion hit him like a pie in the face.

Light wasn't kira!

If he were kira, he surely would have let him die! After all, kira was killing anyone in his way, and L was the biggest obstacle he had encountered so far. Here was a ready-made excuse to let him die…but he hadn't. He had saved his life. Had Light not called the paramedics- or had just let him run out the window- he wouldn't be sitting where he was.

"Light-kun isn't kira!" He was so startled, he blurted out his thoughts.

"Really?!" Mr. Yagami, who was just reentering the room nearly yelled.

"I'm not?" Light seemed genuinely confused. L smiled at them both.

"No. You aren't." L was coming to understand that even though he had suspected Light for so long, that they _had_ caught the current kira. Light may have been kira, but somehow or another, he had given that life up. He was simply Light Yagami, L's friend.

He wasn't alone any more, and he wouldn't get Light killed. Because kira was already dead. Both Light and his father seemed to demand an explanation, but L simply scratched his temple where the bandage wrapped around his head, and glanced out to the nurse's station.

"How long until I am allowed to return to work?"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Almost at he end! And this is in an alternate reality where Light never kills L. So, metaphorically, even though Light has his memories of being kira, he has rejected the lifestyle, and therefore, kira is dead. _


	8. Finis: six months later

Bloodstained Dreams

…

_Six months later, in Winchester, England._

…

Light flexed his fingers, and rubbed the wrist where the handcuffs had been so long ago. The kira case had been closed, and L had received another few million dollars as payment. Yes, he and L were living the life. They still had the death note though, hidden deep in a vault beneath their manor. At this point, chief Yagami had accepted that his son was living with an older man. He was reaping the benefits of being (sort of, Light and L weren't so much married as they were a couple) father in law to a world famous detective, and sat in the shade sipping some sort of exotic alcoholic beverage, brought to him by a feminine blonde lad with a forcedly polite manner. He had asked Watari about the boy, and had been informed that L had hired a few boys from a nearby orphanage, and agreed to give them summer jobs. The blonde was called Mello, and a rather extreme looking boy in a striped shirt and goggles was named Matt. He had also hired a ghostly boy named Near, but no one had seen him yet, except for Light, who was doing so at this very moment.

"Hey L, have you seen the hairdryer? I can't find it anywhere."

L's muffled voice came from a closet two rooms over. "I believe Mello might have something to do with its disappearance, seeing as my chocolate éclairs seem to dwindle in number whenever I leave the room.

"Did someone order room service?" Light felt a tug on the back of his shirt, and was startled by a high-pitched, musical voice coming from somewhere behind him. He spun around.

His first impression of the newcomer was shinigami. He soon realized, upon spotting the platter of éclairs in the boy's grasp, that he must in fact be the third hired hand, and attempted to slow his heart rate, which had escalated upon laying eyes on the boy, who gave him a twisted smile and forced the platter onto him, before vanishing ghostily from the room. He had thought that seeing as the boy was supposedly fourteen or so, he would be a bit taller than light's midsection, but apparently not.

"Uh, L? Your éclairs have arrived."

"Oh, good. It seems I shall have to keep a better eye on these than I did the last batch."

Light had long since given up the argument of diabetes. He just let L go about his usual sweet consumption, and supposed that it was a good thing that L seemed impervious to the usual effects of sugar.

It was morning, and L had slept soundly the previous night. It had, in fact been several months since his last terror. Light seemed to be the single thing that could prevent them, and whenever even a simple nightmare threatened to interrupt the detective's sleep, all the brunette had to do was wrap an arm around the sleeping man, and the dream would cease.

Today, Light had a mission. The death note in the vault had been troubling him for months now, and he couldn't take it anymore. He dug in the drawer of his desk until he found what he was looking for, and pocketed the small red box.

"L? I'm going out for a while. I'll be back in a few minutes, alright?"

"Yes, Light-kun." Light exited the room, and inconspicuously checked the hall for anyone else. It was empty, so he headed for the small rectangular picture of Watari a few paces away, and pressed the small metal plaque with the old mans name on it, until it disappeared with a small click. In its place was a minute keypad, with numbers zero through nine, and letters a through z. These were mostly to confuse any random burglar who might attempt to break into the vault. The code was simple:01001100. Binary code for L. A hidden door in the ceiling swung down, and a ladder swung down, which Light climbed, and entered a narrow passageway within the wall, which sloped downward, finally coming to a door. Light entered. He was now in the vault.

…

L munched an éclair, scanning the Russian police records for anything interesting to solve. He clicked on a file debating about the czar and family all dieing at once of heart attacks. The cook had been blamed for the deaths, something about bad food preparations. Ah, but L knew…this was murder. He could do this. He hacked the Russian police chief's wife's email, and began composing a message:

Chief Miras:

I am requesting your cooperation on my latest case, involving the death of the czar. Please do not withhold any information I may require in order to solve this case, and I would be pleased if you would get in contact with Watari, and present him with a list of Russia's best agents. From this list I will chose those whom I shall recruit for my investigation team. I have taken the liberty of using this email for my own personal safety, and demand that you delete this email from the server after it has been read, and also that you destroy this computer within thirty minutes of reading.

L

…

Light stared at the smoldering pile of ashes in front of him, and tucked the matchbook back into his pocket. The death note would trouble him no more. He dusted off his palms, and kicked the ashes into the gutter, to be washed away by the coming rain. He looked around again to make sure he hadn't been seen, and headed back inside. His cell phone began to jingle as he walked through the door.

"Light speaking."

"Yagami-kun."

"Ryuzaki?"

"Please pack a suitcase Light-kun. We shall be traveling to Russia in the near future."

Light just laughed. Yes, this was the life.

FIN

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

_(Plays dramatic music) ah, yes. Ryuk stole another death note, and now it's in the hands of Russian rebels. I'm not really satisfied with the end of this, but I didn't really know how to end it, and this is what I came up with. You like? I kind of left the ending open for a sequel, but I don't know if I'll write one or not. Tell me if you guys think it's a good idea, or if I should just leave it here. Okay? I really don't like how chapter seven turned out, but…sigh. Such is life._

_Oh! And please check this out! I drew a picture of what my version of A (L's dead friend) looked like! I worked pretty hard on it, so please see it. Tell me if it fits my vague descriptions okay._

_To see it: go to . Search for " A [Adrian Goodman]" and it should be the only result. I tried posting a link to it on my profile, but that didn't work, so you'll just have to search for it. Sorry!_

_~L_


End file.
